I'm Not Done with You Yet by Jesse Q. Sutanto

Author:Jesse Q. Sutanto [Sutanto, Jesse Q.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2023-08-22T00:00:00+00:00

* * *

The second week passes; one long, excruciating week where Thalia and Ivan wrap even tighter into each other, folding around each other so that there’s absolutely no space for the rest of the world. It feels as though they’ve been in love for years. They now have their own secret code, their little inside jokes. All it takes is a seemingly nonsensical phrase here and there: “Like the squid,” Thalia says as we tour the beautiful grounds of Trinity College, and Ivan will burst out laughing and pull her close. What squid? Ani and I would ask each other silently before shrugging and rolling our eyes.

How strange that Ani should now be my reluctant ally. Though she’s not much of an ally; she seems content to stay back, spitting out barbed comments here and there, but mostly a passive bystander. She drinks more, splurges on more luxury clothing, which I didn’t think was possible, but aside from that she’s mostly harmless. A shame.

Fortunately, it’s all about to come to an end. Ivan’s due to leave the morning after our formal college ball. It’s the biggest night of Michaelmas; everybody’s been twittering about it for weeks now. The local dress shops have been filled with students trying on ball gowns. Ani’s already bought five gowns. She tells me with sloppy generosity that I am allowed to wear her least favorite one. I’m so anxious/looking forward to Ivan leaving that I ignore the slight in Ani’s comment.

But that morning, Thalia bursts into my room, cheeks ablaze. “I think he’s going to propose,” she squeals.

No. What? NO.

Somehow, I manage to keep from screaming. “What? But—what?”

“I know!” she cries. “It’s so fast, but oh god, it feels so right. I—he asked me how I felt about possibly living in Jakarta, and all these questions like did I want kids, how do I feel about him needing to travel throughout the year . . . things a smart, down-to-earth guy would consider before popping the question.”

Of course he’s the type to ask these questions before popping the question. Wise Ivan. Kind Ivan. Down-to-earth Ivan.

“And then he took my hand and was like—well, I swear he was measuring my ring finger. Oh my god, Jane! Can you imagine? If he proposed tonight?” She hops and squeals again. “Is this the most romantic thing you’ve ever heard or what?”

I make myself nod slowly.

Thalia finally notices that All Does Not Seem Right and stops chattering. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. It’s just—it seems really fast, don’t you think?” It’s been barely a fortnight, I want to scream at her. I’ve had rashes older than this relationship.

“I know, but I’ve never felt this way about anyone before—”

Wow, that stings.

“—and when you know, you know. You know?”

I shrug. “Sure, I guess. Have you told Ani?”

Her smile loses a bit of wattage. “No. I don’t really know how she’ll take it. Does she seem slightly off to you the past few weeks?”

You mean while you and her brother wrap tentacles around each other in front of her? Instead, I shrug again.

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